I feel like in the past four days I have stumbled upon some strange universal truth, that almost everything invariably ends in sex or misery. Unfortunately for me, it's always the latter despite my high hope for the former. And that blasted hope springs eternal, it does.
Leave it to me to always act in the most ridiculous manner possible in any given situation. It's like I have a natural propensity to make an ass of myself everytime there are enough people around to witness the tragicomic train wreck that is my life.
The way I see it, if I just give up on life before my Saturn Returns and move into a remote cave in the hills, I will be far better off in the long run. Sure, I will slowly lose my mind and run about the mountainside clad in animal pelts and raving like a Maenad, but there will be infinitely less disappointment when all is said and done. And a lot more boozing I hear, as there are certain pagan deities who take mighty good care of lady lunatics of the wilderness. Huzzah.
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