Go home, flu face!

AAAaaaaaAAarrrGGghh!
Get me out of this den of disease, this bacterial breeding ground, this germ circus that is my work place!
I don't understand the whole work-through-it mentality that my co-workers seem to adhere to. It's not commendable. It's not having a good work ethic. It's reckless endangerment.

My co-worker has been looking like a beastly snot sandwich for the last couple of days, walking around the office in a fucking daze, with the voice (and breath) of a fetid corpse. She's taken to hanging out in my cube, breathing disease all over my desk accessories in the guise of warm-hearted camaraderie. Look pal, it's not all about you. I don't want your swollen glands and your strep throat anywhere near my lifestyle. And I certainly don't want to get sick just in time to miss another Christmas party.

So help me, if I get so much as a sniffle, I am going to lick every utensil in the break room because I am a nasty, spiteful person.