No creepy pseudo-intellectual sales associates all up in your shiznit.
Book store people must be manufactured somewhere, like in some underground laboratory in Nevada, and then shipped all over the country to staff Borders and B&N. I'm convinced of this. They're a queer breed of human, I say. What's more disturbing is that I have a strange effect on the males in particular, so that they feel compelled to try to initiate a dialogue when I approach the register. Never fails. I could be buying a book in cuneiform or on the history of the Zulu nation and some Buddy Holly-looking mother fucker behind the register will, first, state the obvious: "Oh, I see you're studying cuneiform... and you are interested in Zulu, eh?" This is normally followed by a narrative, usually anecdotal in nature. "When I lived in Mesopotamia, I studied cunieform with Shaka Zulu.... (insert ridiculous and overly personal story). Ha ha! I am so witty and amusing and better than everyone, yet I work in Borders because the world is cruel and has yet to recognize my intellectual superiority. My mind is a vast ocean of lofty, esoteric knowledge that has no practical application in this plane of existence."
Like, go away, dude.
Get a girlfriend or something.
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